just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize