im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
50% drunk capacity currently
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
