It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize
