I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
