Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
