He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
