Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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