So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
