Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
