Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
