His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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