Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
