So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
