Heybabeimwearingurpanties
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
