Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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