you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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