So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
