ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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