We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
