Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
