Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
