In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
