You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
