You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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