He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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