I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
