giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
