dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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