At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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