they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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