I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
