Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
