I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Randomize
