I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
