i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at about main and main street
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
