I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
