There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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