please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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