Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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