Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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