Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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