Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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