you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
