Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
