Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
