So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
