Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im holly from the hills drunk
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize