well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
