i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
