Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
