hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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