So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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