Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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