my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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