The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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