I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
