Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
