Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
