New low: just hacked my moms facebook
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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