There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
