Little spoons don't ask big questions
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
